The Stone Age Principle On Love
3 nights back I was chatting with a friend on MSN.
She was filled with love and so much excitement. She recently got attached.
When I got to know who was the guy I was rather shock because I didn't expect the person to be her boyfriend. She had the slightest interest in him. So what was it that sparked off the relationship I asked?
"I don't even know what we're together" was her reply.
WOAHHH! I nearly tipped over my four-wheel chair.
I went on probing her, "surely there's a reason right?"
"Must there be a reason for love?"
Yar... come to think about it... must there?
Side track a little, not many of us know that we actually have a slight percentage of our stone-age relatives -- that lived many centuries back -- in us. Let me just recall their first impression on love that's now placed somewhere hidden into our subconscious mind.
Let's start with the ladies. Cavewomen just as modern women in society have the rights to choose who to be with (or who to mate). There was of course the wooing phrase, the caveman will brings her food, entertain (tease) her and pick her herbs, all just to impress her. Women back then were direct, they will simply run away if they dislike her suitor. But of cause the caveman with the nicest coat, fiercest winning weapon and a no pushover figure (not chiselled body you see on magazines) are plus points to their success rates. At the end, it really boils down to the cavewoman, whether she's comfortable with her mate.
For the caveman, it's just purely his fetish and strong desire. Caveman instincts are based on his capability vs his mate. Example if his productive rate is 60% (there's no such thing as 100%, we all have flaws), in work, play and sexuality, naturally his mate will be around the 60% mark. Cavewomen decision are made easy by the way the cavemen dresses, etc.
Now in the 21st Century, things are not so simple. "Love at first sight" and "love is blind" doesn't exist. You will end up divorce if you blindly choose your partner when you decide it was him/her the first time you met. With the divorce on the raise, couple are taught and advised on relationship. To put it bluntly, don't choose their solely just by their physical appearance!
So there must be
more than love that brings a couple together. Not just the money, looks or fame. Money can be earned, we will grow old no matter good looking you are, and strong flames do die out like fame.
Communication, bonding attributes (may varies and might not be the same), and x-loving are the key! Just think about it for awhile!
Below is a table of an exaggerated stereotype couple attributes what will probably end up divorce:
| Partner A | Partner B |
| PSLE | Polytechnic |
| Muslim | Buddhist |
| Enjoys pubbing | Enjoys scrolling at beaches |
| Shops regularly | Exercise regularly |
| Common interests are watching TV, bottle caps collecting, drawing, sleeping |
| Works as a freelance | Full-time accountant |
| Mum is the sole breadwinner. | Parents owns a hawker stall |
Definitely there's certain hiccups in all relationships, my suggestion is to work on it. However if your case is similar to above, it's not entirely hopeless but it requires more effort to keep going.
If you're fortunate to be in a relationship nothing like above, loving, trusting, compromising, learning from each other, and team building (I personally added this) are something are good ideas to brain storm. It will help keep things in balance when the effort is made.
"Good ideas alter the power balance in relationships, that's why good ideas are always initially resisted. Good ideas come with a heavy burden. Which is why so few people have. So few people can handle it."
- Hugh Macleod
